In the world of love, two types of people are both loved and hated: the narcissistic "domineering CEO" and the avoidant "aloof heartthrob". They both seem"difficult to handle", but their underlying psychological motivations are completely different. This article will analyze these two "love challenges," and teach you how to distinguish them, and how to interact with them.
Narcissists: I Am the Center of the Universe!
Narcissists are like proud peacocks, always holding their heads high, believing they are the centre of the universe. They crave everyone's attention and praise, just like peacocks need to display their feathers. If they don't receive enough "applause," they may become irritable or even retaliatory. They always hope others will compliment them with phrases like "You're amazing" or "You're so smart", and they may even take credit for others' achievements. They struggle to understand others' feelings and may see other people's troubles as "making a big deal out of nothing". They use others to achieve their goals, whether it's having classmates do their homework, partners help with chores, or generous friends pick up the tab. Samuel is a narcissist who always considers himself the smartest person in the company. One time, after the team completed a big project, the boss praised everyone. But Samuel stood up and said, "Actually, the main credit for this project goes to me; the others were just assisting". His colleagues exchanged glances and silently rolled their eyes.
Avoidant Attachment: Don't Get Close, I'm Afraid of Getting Hurt!
Avoidant individuals are like hedgehogs-cold on the outside but full of fear of intimacy on the inside. They are afraid of depending on others and of others depending on them, so they always keep their distance. When a relationship starts to heat up, they may suddenly "disappear". They often say, "I don't need anyone" or "I can handle it myself", but in reality, they are just afraid of being vulnerable. When conflicts arise, they have a special talent for vanishing. Indeed, getting them to face problems head-on may feel harder than pulling teeth. They rarely talk about their feelings and even see emotional expression as a sign of "weakness". Lisa is an avoidant type who has been dating her boyfriend, Li, for six months. One time, I wanted to talk about their plans, but Lisa suddenly became distant and said, "I think things are fine as they are; there's no need to overthink it". I felt confused, but in reality, Lisa was scared if the relationship became too close, she might get hurt.
Narcissists are like hungry lions, never satisfied. They constantly need praise and attention; otherwise, they feel lost or even angry. Avoidant individuals, on the other hand, are like shy cats, feeling uncomfortable with compliments. They might say, "I don't need anyone's approval", but deep down, they fear dependence. Narcissists are like domineering dogs that shamelessly demand affection but are stingy when it comes to giving back. You can't say anything negative about them, or they '1I explode-after all, how can a "proud person" tolerate criticism? Avoidant individuals, at times, resemble wary rabbits, always ready to run away. When faced with conflict, they can also be like turtles, withdrawing into their shells.
How to Interact with a Narcissist: Give them compliments— though it may feel tiring. Moderate praise can satisfy them and reduce conflict. Set clear boundaries to prevent them from taking advantage of you. When they become aggressive, don't respond with anger; staying calm is your greatest strength, and a cool-headed approach is your best weapon. How to Interact with an Avoidant Person: Give them space-don't push too hard, because turtles don't like being disturbed. If they're unwilling to open up, that's fine; just let them know you’re reliable, perhaps by sharing a small secret.
Whether you're dealing with an escaping "turtle" or a temperamental "lion", interacting with narcissists or avoidant individuals can be exhausting! However, they didn't choose to be this way— perhaps there are many reasons behind their behaviour. No matter if you've encountered a "domineering CEO" or an "aloof heartthrob", don't forget to take care of yourself. Love is between two people, but happiness is your own!
