A child refusing to sleep can disrupt the tranquillity of the household. As night falls, tired parents, having spent a busy day, yearn for a moment of peaceful silence. However, the little one on the bed acts like an energy ball that’s been released, unable to stop playing and resisting, as if fighting against the realm of sleep. This scenario leaves parents exhausted.
This issue is especially common in children aged 1 to 4. Frequent night-time activity, refusal to go to bed, night terrors, and nightmares all test the patience and wisdom of parents. At this point, parents may feel that their child seems trapped in an endless "I don’t want to sleep" vortex, where each attempt to lull them to sleep feels like futilely fighting an endless storm. So, how can parents help their child emerge from this dark fog and enter the sweet realm of dreams? The answer might not be as complicated as we imagine. Just like simmering a pot of soup, what’s needed are the right ingredients and the patience to cook it slowly.
First, observe the child’s daily rhythm. Just as a farmer watches the sky to decide when to plant, parents need to observe whether their child’s day is filled with “enough sunlight and rain.” Daytime activities are crucial to the quality of sleep at night. If a child’s daytime is too quiet, lacking sufficient physical activity and stimulation, they might feel like a bird trapped in a cage at night, unable to escape their thoughts, tossing and turning in bed without being able to sleep soundly. On the other hand, if daytime activities are too intense, the child’s body and mind might become overly excited, like a lake disturbed by a storm, and their sleep may be filled with restlessness and unrest. Therefore, the child’s daytime must strike a proper balance between “energy” and “calmness.”
It’s like a beautiful symphony, where every detail of the day plays the prelude to a peaceful night’s sleep. Regular meals, fixed playtimes, appropriate rest, and the parents’ companionship are all essential instruments in this symphony. Regular meals provide stable energy for the child, like giving their body a solid foundation. Proper playtime allows the child’s brain to relax and release, like letting the clouds in the sky drift away, giving them space to freely soar. The parents’ companionship acts as the stars in the night sky, offering enough security to the child’s heart so they can sleep peacefully. However, simply having these things is not enough to ensure the child’s smooth transition to sleep. Another key factor is the sleep environment the parents create for the child at night. Imagine the child’s bedroom as a kingdom full of fantasy, with the bed as a comfortable throne, the sheets as soft clouds, and the warm light and gentle music as the soft breeze within the kingdom, gently comforting the child’s soul. When everything is prepared, the child can enter the dreamy palace and sleep smoothly. In contrast, if the environment is too noisy, the light too bright, or emotions are unsettled, the child’s sleep becomes like trying to find shelter in a storm—difficult and unstable.
Sleep “resistance” often comes from the “mysteries” within the child’s heart. Many times, a child’s resistance is not just due to physical activity, but more because of their inner anxiety and unease. Like a small boat being rocked by invisible waves, unable to find a safe harbour. Night terrors, nightmares, and fear of unfamiliar things may all be signs of the child’s emotional state. For children, the night is not just for physical rest but also for emotional and psychological relaxation. Parents need to learn to notice these signals and patiently listen to the child’s inner “whispers.” Perhaps it’s a warm hug, a quiet word of comfort, or telling a sweet story—these can help the child feel emotionally soothed and transition into deep rest.
Of course, sometimes a child’s sleep problem can’t be resolved overnight. Just like guiding a small bird back to its nest, a child’s sleep issue often requires time to gradually adjust. If the sleep disturbance persists for an extended period, it may be worthwhile to seek the help of a child psychologist or sleep specialist.
